On Dying
A friend died two days ago. He was an amazing person and will be dearly missed. My personal sentiments are not what I wanted to talk about here, though.
We as a society know only so much about certain diseases and how to treat them effectively. Like this very aggressive cancer that took his life away. We will do good to learn more and be more able to medically treat cases like this in the future, but there are other things that we can already do better. And it's how we treat the patients as human beings.
My friend was dying and he didn't know. He didn't say he didn't want to know or anything like that. And he didn't know because the doctor and the family conspired to hide it from him.
Sick.
That is so, so sick. I find it morally reprehensible and I'm shocked that we have such a low standard at the moment. Of course, they did it with the best intention, but with that best intention they behaved as monsters.
As a good friend pointed out to me, that behavior is related to our local culture. In Spain, many people believe in similarly paternalistic ideas. Many people don't, mind you, I for one.
That paternalism is tied to other similarly disgusting ideas. For example, that doctors are somewhat above the patients, that they are some kind of divinity figure. That politicians are entitled to choose for us in secrecy, because with their privileged knowledge they can see what's best for the rest of us. Or about euthanasia, that anyone would have more saying than the person that is most directly affected, cases that seem so clear-cut to me and yet only in very recent times this is starting to be mildly integrated in our culture.
I find those ideas revolting and profoundly immoral. I think those are very low ethical standards. And I wish more people will start to change them.
A friend died, as we most likely all will. But he didn't have to be lied about it, he could have been respected as a person, he could have had a saying on what to do with what was left of his life. His environment could have had the courage to accept that he was stronger than they were.
I'm enraged by the indecency of people who deny humanity to others. I hope we'll know better.